Dear Reader –
I am writing to you to share my own experience of hospitalization hoping it will give you encouragement through your own. And to let you know that even though things seem kind of dim now, things will get better with time. It is not going to feel so out of control and scary forever.
When I came home from the hospital, after a few hospitalizations I didn’t know how things could possibly get better. All I could do was hope that things couldn’t stay like that permanently. Anxiety was very high and depression was weighing heavily on me. I was always sleepy from the medication I was on. Things seemed out of control and so far from normal. I couldn’t see myself ever finding a new normal. I didn’t think that I’d be able to do normal things like get a job or go back to school, but you can do both – there is help available for people with mental illness for work and school.
I was scared that I was going to have another psychotic break, which I didn’t after getting the right medication. A year later and I am symptom free. I still feel mild depression and anxiety but they aren’t crippling like they were before. I can work with it.
When I was going through psychosis, I was very paranoid about people hurting me. After the medication it helped get it under control some but the thing that helped most was pushing myself to be around friends and family everyday no matter how I felt. I got up and did my best to just show up, even if only to sit with them and that helped me not only with my paranoia and anxiety but also creating a new sense of normalcy. Being with other people helped me the most. With medication my symptoms of psychosis cleared up. With time and effort the anxiety and depression eased. Therapy and medication will give you control of your symptoms once you get them right. Time and effort will do the rest. You’ll find new ways to deal with anything that may arise. I am a year into my recovery and I am starting college for the first time. A year ago I didn’t think I could do it but with the support of my iHOPE team and personal effort I did. You can also reach your own goals and find a new sense of normalcy. You will move on from this and life will feel meaningful again. Just be patient and put in your best effort.